Is “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself” a Learnable Skill?

 

Is “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself” a Learnable Skill?

Richard K. Stephens - April 2, 2022 - (1832 words + notes)

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1) THE GREAT QUESTION

Let me pose what I regard as a fundamental question for Christians, one that determines how one proceeds in seeking learning and how one expects to a become transformed soul:

Is what Jesus said is the second greatest commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” a learnable skill? [1]

Another question logically follows.

If this is indeed a learnable skill then is it necessary for the Christian to seek out and acquire that skill in order to take up his cross and follow Jesus’s lead -- Jesus’s commands?

My own view is that the command “Love your neighbor as yourself,” is a directive to embody compassion.

While not explicitly stated, it is presumed that one acquires that capacity -- effective, reliable embodiment of compassion -- through disciplined effort. The original disciples were given three and a half years of painstaking instruction by their divine Teacher.

2 COMPASSION DEFINED

But, just what is compassion, exactly?

British psychologist Paul Gilbert, whom we will hear from again below, specializes in compassion cultivation. He gives this definition:

“A deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.” Compassion consists of six ‘attributes’: Sensitivity, Sympathy, Empathy, Motivation/Caring, Distress Tolerance, and Non-Judgement. [2, 3]

Social organization experts, Monica A. Worline & Jane E. Dutton, describe the process of embodying compassion as:

1. Noticing - noticing that suffering is present in a person, or in an organization,
2. Interpretation - making meaning of suffering in a way that contributes to a desire to alleviate it,
3. Feeling - feeling empathic concern for the person(s) suffering, and
4. Action - taking action to alleviate suffering in some manner. [4]

What is NOT compassion is merely having a sympathetic sentiment. Yes, this would be one component of compassion. But only a part.

Nor is it the making of generous donations to a charity a behavior that fulfills the definition. One can be dutifully altruistic on principle. But long-distance generosity is not challenging in the way that compassion as illustrated in the parable of the Good Samaritan is: interruptive, inconvenient, improvisational, even risky.

Compassion is proximate and interventional and it is not just generous; it is apt and effective. It’s all about competence -- about correct evaluation and effective response. And it is unconditional. The Samaritans and the Israelites were mortal enemies.

This thing called compassion sets a difficult, perhaps unnatural, standard of attention and action. The standard is so far from the fallen heart’s character that it seems impossible. Yet we are, according to Jesus, to become “reborn.” [John 3:3]  We are, if we are to accept grace, required to “repent.” [Mat. 4:17]

This admonishing command, the first in Jesus’s ministry -- for all to repent -- is often misunderstood, due to the limitations of translation, a problem existing even in Jerome’s translation into Latin. The Greek imperative, Metanoeite, is a command to radically alter one’s mind, one’s mentality, by changing its traits from its wandering, fallen condition into those characteristic of God.

It is reasonable to conclude that such a radical change of direction is what leads to being what Jesus refers to being “born again.”

And it is equally reasonable to regard such a radical change of direction to be the necessary prerequisite to being able to develop the capability to follow the Great Commandment.

3) OBEYING THE COMMANDS

Some have argued that the way to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind (the first Great Commandment) is for us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Since our neighbor is “the image of God” (albeit in a fallen form) and God is invisible, we can focus on God by focusing on the other, giving love to God by giving God to his most beloved creation. [5]

This interpretation of the relationship between the two Greatest Commandments  is supported by Jesus’s description of the Judgement of the sheep from the goats (Mat. 25:31-46). The compassionate ones are invited by the Judge to thrive with Him in eternity; the non-passionate ones are condemned to pass eternity elsewhere.

“I assure you that when you have done it for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you have done it for me.” (Mat. 25:40).

“I assure you that when you haven’t done it [haven’t shown compassion] for one of the least of these, you haven’t done it for me.” (Mat. 25:45).

Jesus, at the end of his earthly ministry, gave out one final command: go and make disciples. His words are explicit in what this entails. In addition to baptizing there is some serious teaching to be done. Teaching what?

“. . . teaching them to obey [or “observe”] all that I have commanded you” (Mat. 28:20)

That’s what Jesus requires. Knowing of the commands (and assenting to them) is one thing, but learning how to obey them is another. It requires careful instruction.

If making a disciple involves instruction by a seasoned student of Jesus’s ministry -- as each of the twelve were -- then it follows that such a disciple-maker is charged, as highest priority, with teaching novices first what it is to repent (and how to do it) and also how one comes to be competent in obeying the daunting Great Commandment.

4) “I’LL PRAY FOR YOU”

Churchgoer A: “How are you?”

Churchgoer B: “Well, actually, I’m struggling right now.”

Churchgoer A: “Can I pray for you?”

It is customary in many Christian congregations to take “prayer requests,” and, on general principle, address the needs and desires of congregants and visitors through petitionary prayer. The interchange above shows how the prayer-offeror jumps right to the solution -- petitionary prayer -- without first inquiring and listening, then feeling empathy, evaluating and finally taking effective action of some sort. There is no need for such involvements, of course, if petitionary prayer is only action necessary, the action that provides the one-size-fits-all universal solution.

Compassion involves being engaged with the suffering of another. It involves taking on the burden of the other and the genuine motivation to seek a remedy.

The fact is, the custom of relying on petitionary prayer to remedy the suffering of others manages to block the entire process which is what makes up compassion. This, in my view, is a major problem that requires serious attention. [6]

You may not share my viewpoint, nevertheless it is certainly important to look into the question posed by this essay and to come to either of the two conclusions:

A. "Love your neighbor as yourself" is a learnable skill.   --- OR ---

B. “Love your neighbor as yourself” is NOT a learnable skill.

This is not just an individual matter. Critical mass of compassion in congregations is what makes for genuine (not just nominal) community. When a congregant confronted with the suffering of another is aware that he cannot rely on his fellow congregants’ capacity for compassion -- which would contribute to community-wide social capital -- it is psychologically probable that his response to that sufferer will be colored by this lack of a ready-to-go communal support base. [7]

I suggest that looking into the findings of Compassion Science before answering. A good start would be a brief article on the groundbreaking research by Dr. Helen Weng (University of Wisconsin-Madison) on whether compassion is a learnable skill. [8] A summary article by Heather S. Lonczak from 2020 will give an overview of the issues involved. [9] The “Further Reading” addendum offers book-length studies of findings of the neuroscience of compassion. 

5) ANTI-COMPASSION

One of the reasons neuroscience-informed compassion training -- which is increasing its influence in psychology, business organization and education -- is not always embraced is that many people have developed, whether in childhood or adulthood, a mental trait of robust resistance to compassion.

Dr. Paul Gilbert, through his research on the compassion-resistance phenomenon, has identified three “fear” categories associated with this trait: fear of compassion for others, fear of compassion from others, fear of compassion for oneself. Targeted training is required in order for these fears that block ordinary compassion cultivation techniques.

Standard therapeutic method fails to work on those who are compassion resistant. Dr. Gilbert discovered this when he observed that a patient can understand a “lesson” of different thinking, yet it could have no effect. He discovered than in these cases the very faculty of feeling reassurance, relief and safeness, was either inaccessible or just not physiologically functioning in the client’s brain. Dr. Gilbert’s Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) was devised for such people.

6) HOW TO LEARN COMPASSION?

If you wanted to find a way to be trained in the learnable skill of compassion where would you look?

The most well-known method is the Stanford University Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT), developed in 2009 at Stanford university and implemented by the Compassion Institute, Half Moon Bay, California. It is a secular training, but it was developed by a former Buddhist monk, Thupten Jinpa. There are many other compassion trainings available that have been developed by Western Buddhists in conjunction with scientists.

Yet for Christians the choices are more narrow.

In 2008, a trio of Christian pastors/educators developed and refined the Christian Compassion Practice at the Center for Engaged Compassion (CEC) in Claremont, California. Certified facilitators teach the CEC’s Compassion Practice in locations dotting the west coast from Washington State down to San Diego.

For those of us not on the West Coast there is another way. In 2017 Prof. Frank Rogers Jr., the primary architect of the CEC Compassion Practice published a slim book providing a thorough presentation of the levels of the practices (including that which addresses the “difficult person”): Compassion in Practice: The Way of Jesus, Upper Room Books, Aug 1, 2016.

Two other Christian books on compassion cultivation complement Rogers’ volume:

• Andrew Dreitcer, Living Compassion: Loving Like Jesus, Upper Room Books, Nov. 1, 2017.
• Rolf R. Nolasco, Compassionate Presence: A Radical Response to Human Suffering, Cascade Books / Wipf & Stock, Oct. 19, 2016.

The former is valuable particularly for its history of precedents in the long Christian tradition; the latter for its theological grounding of the compassion mandate and its neuro-psychology explications.

Compassion cultivation is work. It is an exercise regimen which strengthens the brain’s “muscle group” (the circuits) which govern compassion. Repentant transformation requires effort in response to proffered grace. Rebirth of the fallen heart and mind is a process, not an instantaneous metamorphosis caused by a decision or an assent to a statement of fact.

In our excessively complex 21^st technological culture that isolates, alienates, depresses, dehumanizes, distracts us, we have -- due in part to technology -- modern means to reclaim our humanity and to find the forgotten ways of character-developing discipline that Jesus, two millennia ago, admonished all to adopt. 

If it is indeed true that "Love your neighbor as yourself" is a learnable skill then this is very good news for us all, and particularly for those of us whose faith binds them to the Great Commandment.

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ADDENDUM: FURTHER READING 

• Richard K. Stephens, "The Compassion Renaissance: Science, Mind & Spirit"
  

• Paul Gilbert & Choden, Mindful Compassion: Using the Power of Mindfulness and Compassion to Transform Our Lives, Robinson: London, 2013. 
• Daniel Goleman & Richard J. Davidson, Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body, Avery, Sep. 5, 2017.
• Sharon Begley, Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain: How a New Science Reveals Our Extraordinary Potential to Transform Ourselves, Ballantine Books, Jan. 2, 2007.
• Emma M. Seppälä, Emiliana Simon-Thomas, Stephanie L. Brown, Monica C. Worline, C. Daryl Cameron, and James R. Doty, eds., The Oxford Handbook of Compassion Science, Oxford University Press, Sep. 2017.

NOTES

[1] Luke 10:27; presentation of the Great Commandment in conjunction with the parable of the Good Samaritan. ^“He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

[2] Gilbert’s definition: Clara Strauss at al, “What is compassion and how can we measure it? A review of definitions and measures,” Clinical Psychology Review, Volume 47, July 2016, Pages 15-27; P. Gilbert, The compassionate mind: A new approach to life's challenges, Constable and Robinson, London (2009), p. 13.

[3] Here is a scientific description of compassion, offered by Jennifer Leah Goetz (Johns Hopkins) -- “Here, we offer a working definition of compassion framed as a discrete and evolved emotional experience. From this vantage point, compassion is conceived as a state of concern for the suffering or unmet need of another, coupled with a desire to alleviate that suffering (Goetz et al., 2010). An experience of compassion defined this way involves several distinct components:

1)      Awareness of an antecedent (i. e. suffering or need in another individual);

2)      Feeling “moved”; that is, having a subjective physical experience that often involves involuntary arousal of branches of the autonomic nervous system;

3)      Appraisal of one’s bodily feeling, social role, and abilities within the context of the suffering;

4)      Judgments about the person and the situational context; and

5)      Engagement of the neural systems that drive social affiliation and caregiving, and motivate helping.

Although we see compassion as involving a patterned and specific response, we do not see the components listed here as serial, or occurring in temporal sequence. We also do not consider processes underlying these components to be wholly independent; they probably overlap and occur in parallel, and exert bidirectional influence upon one another in different  configurations throughout life.” [Jennifer L. Goetz and Emiliana Simon-Thomas, “The Landscape of Compassion: Definitions and Scientific Approaches,” in Elizabeth Seppala, Oxford Handbook of Compassion Science, 2017 Oxford UP, p. 3]

[4] Monica A. Worline & Jane E. Dutton, Awakening Compassion at Work: The Quiet Power That Elevates People and Organizations, Berrett-Koehler Pub., 2017., p. 5.

[5] “Even before Jesus’ time, those two verses were thought to be linked, in a poetic way, so that the way you expressed your total love and commitment to God, who you can’t see, was by showing love to your neighbor, who you can see. This is certainly a central teaching of Jesus too, and the overwhelming importance of this command is echoed in the rest of the New Testament.” [Lois Tverberg, “Jesus’ Surprising Answer,” En-Gedi Resource Center, Jun.  5, 2019]; “But there’s another sense in which the second great commandment is just like the first. Loving one’s neighbor is simply the natural and necessary extension of true, wholehearted love for God, because your neighbor is made in the image of God.” [Phil Johnson, “The Second Great Commandment,” Tabletalk, Jul. 2005]

[6] Leading expert on psychological attachment, Phillip Shaver, describes a behavioral pattern that matches the knee-jerk “I’ll pray for you” disengagement from proximate suffering custom that is so common in churches. According to Shaver, 25% pf American adults have an avoidant attachment style. “Those with an avoidant style are so deft at maintaining emotional detachment and so unwilling to become involved with other people’s problems and feelings that when they witness suffering or need, they are unable to muster empathy.” [Sharon Begley, Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain: How a New Science Reveals Our Extraordinary Potential to Transform Ourselves, Ballantine Books, Jan. 2, 2007, p. 196] This is a condition that can be changed though appropriate effort.

[7] Since social networks provide a structure that captures patterns of interactions between people, these networks can be activated in the wake of suffering. Network structures are often depicted in maps that show how regularly people talk or share information or advice with each other, and research also shows how energy and emotion flow through these structures. As in a highway system, feelings, interpretations, and calls for action travel fast on the most established and biggest paths. This is why networks matter so much for how quickly information about suffering is shared and how easy it is to calibrate and coordinate patterns of compassion competence in a system. [Monica A. Worline & Jane E. Dutton, Awakening Compassion at Work: The Quiet Power That Elevates People and Organizations, Berrett-Koehler Pub., 2017, p. 115]

[8] Helen Weng’s research - Jill Ladwig, “Brain can be trained in compassion, study shows,” W News (University of Wisconsin-Madison), May 22, 2013.

[9] Heather S. Lonczak, Ph.D., “20 Reasons Why Compassion Is So Important in Psychology,” Positive Psychology.” Jan. 9, 2020.

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[Rev. 4/4/22; 4/5/22; 24-4/12/22 --- 34-10/10/22]