A Prayer-Request Custom That Kills Compassion

 

A Prayer-Request Custom That Kills Compassion

January 3, 2023

443 words

***

Suffering people need action (appropriate effective action), not empty religiosity.

For over a decade, I’ve been noticing a church custom that seems distant from real prayer. This is the “prayer request” custom whereby a person in need (suffering, or lonely, or unemployed, or facing eviction) is in need of practical help and compassionate treatment yet the entire church community is committed to using intercessional prayer only to address the issue.

I have seen this prayer custom employed such that the request is so clearly expected to be satisfied by the church folk involved in the prayer request group that, on next meeting, a query is made to get an “update.” The prayer-request team expects God to do for others in need what they themselves choose not to do.

It is as if modern American Christians have no idea of what Jesus said to Pharisees. They, the Vending Machine Prayer folk, who often seem to be in a trance, behave like the Levite and the priest in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

I cannot imagine using intercessional prayer – without appropriate action – to addressing my own personal suffering. This compassionless “prayer” seems to be regarded as appropriate only when dealing with another’s suffering.

I have been told that this “prayer request” custom involving highly detailed wordy repetitions of the sufferer’s situation out loud (not in a prayer closet) and in public (where they can be seen by others) was invented in the 1970s,as a result of the increasing self-centeredness in American culture. The custom involves what some have sarcastically named: “Divine Butler” prayer, “Wishing Well” prayer, or “Vending Machine” prayer.

Most seriously the custom seems to shut down the Vending-Machine-prayer-maker’s mind/heart’s capacity for compassion. Thus mere religiosity is present, while the agape of “Love your neighbor as yourself” is not.

People who defend the custom seem to be oblivious to the fact that there are lots and lots of Christian medical workers, none of whom would merely pray for a patient and ignore compassion.

Compassion is a process: 1) Notice, 2) Investigate, 3) Feel (care), 4) Plan (intend to act), 5) Act (effectively, appropriately). This is exactly the process engaged in by the Good Samaritan. In other words, the 5-step compassion process is what is pointed to in the Greatest Commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

The good news is that compassion is a learnable skill (which requires practice to prevent compassion competence to atrophy). There are secular evidence-based trainings in compassion that are well-known. Much less well-known is the Christian version of compassion cultivation training, called “Compassion Practice,” as developed by Frank Rogers Jr. at the Center for Engaged Compassion in Claremont, California.

***